Volatile Sandals aka "Vomitiles"

Just because you bang east county skin-head "bros" and have black-on-bottom-bleach-blonde-on-top hair extensions does not give you the right to wear platform flip-flops with your denim mini skirt and pink "fox" wife beater. And please tuck your $3 chartreuse embellished stripper thong back into your skort...whore. Go ride a dirt bike and drink Keystone Lights until you throw up on your cheap Jessica Simpson clip-in weave. And when you finally break your ankle from wearing these and get outfitted in one of those sweet boot casts, then please don't think it's still cool to throw on a cocktail dress and hobble around the Gaslamp because you can't miss your boyfriend "spinning" at the club. By the way, hitting play on "NOW! That's What I Call Music 47" does not make him a DJ.

Kitten Heels

You know what's never a good look? White pumps, kitten heels, and the deadliest combination of all: white kitten heel pumps. Gross. Listen trick, flats are great -- they're comfortable, cute, professional yet casual, and high heels are totally sexy and forever en vogue, so just pick and commit. Whoever invented the "kitten heel" should be shot. Twice. You're not hitting the perfect midpoint on the curve that stretches between conservative librarian and vanilla body spray/glitter-clad stripper. You're not balancing the fashionable with the practical. You just look like a weirdo. The point is, you don't have to wear a Velcro’d oxford to the office to be taken seriously, or a 7-inch clear platform porn-star stiletto to look flirty on your girls' night out...there are plenty of in-between options, but a kitten heel is NOT one of them. Especially in white. Trust us, that extra three-quarters of an inch is not making you a supermodel, and it certainly ain't worth fashion suicide.